Everyday Tarot

Being Mindful in the time of Isolation

I remember starting this blog with the intention to write more about my tarot practices and how I relate them to my work. I remember referring myself as activist previously, and I have decided to strip the title off myself, recently. I no longer want to be called activists because the reflection of being ‘active’ and wanting to stay on top of my work most of the time. While I learned more and more about my Bipolar Disorder symptoms, a lot of things revealed themselves for me. Most importantly, about taking care and being mindful about my own mental health.

I love isolation. It reflects my birth tarot card, The Hermit. In companion of The Moon, I am pretty sure the label ‘introvert’ fits me perfectly. I spend most of my time being alone with myself, enjoying my own company and somehow it became a forced routine due to the global outbreak of Coronavirus. I can no longer enjoy being alone outdoor, and it gives me lack of room to move around.

I worked with my tarot deck to actually read myself to filth: to understand that I need to be put down and away from my work.


What is at the heart of my stress?
Three of Pentacles: The card reflected a person working with hammer and nail through a door and there is two person watching them from the two sides of the door. Three circles of pentacles on top of their head. 

As I striped off myself from accessing activist spaces and the kind of people I used to be with, I have learned to pick my battle wisely. I have tried to warm people about abusive people in the space, yet, the warnings are not taken seriously. Maybe I have given up on warning people, because it’s exhausting to tell these traumatic stories over and over again, who knows?

How can I better manage this stress?
The Devil: The card reflected to person tied by a thread, held by one hand. In the middle, a goat-like head with a  pentacles with its sharp teeth and long-tongue.

With Mars, Jupiter and Pluto in Capricorn currently, and the Devil card appeared, I am assured that there is a lot of things are being taken away and blessed to me at the same time.

“Mars in Capricorn needs great mountains to climb in life. You come alive when there’s resistance, and show enormous strength in pursuit of your goals. You are self-controlled and don’t take orders well from others. You step into leadership early in life and carry an air of authority.” This amazing analysis by Molly Hall can be read here.

While Jupiter in Capricorn transits starting last year has been kicking it for me: “Unlike the huge leaps forward we took during Jupiter in Sagittarius, Jupiter in Capricorn is a time of moving at a more measured pace.” Read more here. Being hit with reality, the conservatives of Capricorn is gave me enough ground to stand on, rather than being dreamy and ambitious all the time.

Pluto has been transiting in Capricorn since 2008, and will only leave in January 2024. Whew, what a long stay! “When Pluto makes his way into Capricorn, he will be transforming many of the areas of life Capricorn deals with. One of the most important issues that will be dealt with during Pluto’s journey through the sign of Capricorn, the winter sign, will be the subject of aging. Material resources, money, the way we deal with power, our desire for status, and our response to security issues will also be paramount in our conscious and unconscious thoughts.” Read more.

This was long, critical analysis that I gave myself time to churn in, and finally accept the truth. There’s no point lying to yourself.

Where can I better direct my energy?
The High Priestess: A person holding their crystall ball with half light half dark veil, a moon is on them thigh, and two tower stands next to them. 

The High Priestess is associated with the sign Virgo. Articulateness, calculative, getting organized. I am surprised finding myself entangled in Excel Sheets and planners once more, as I navigate back into my work and that’s – what I’ve been missing for a while. Forgetting to prioritize what I need to prioritize took so much energy for me, and those wasted energy and time will never come back.

What self loving action can I take now?
The Sun, in reverse: A child riding a horse with four flowers on its chest, and the sun was shining brightly, with it rays filling top of the card. 

This none than other, the card of clarity and asking us to be honest with what we need the most right now: a break. The Sun isn’t associated with any sign, it is a positive reminder that our mind, our body, our soul is demanding to stop what we are doing and live in the moment. Reflecting what is happening around us, rather than ignoring the signs is very important. Don’t forget to breathe, and breathe.

What I’ve learned from this spread is to ground myself. I’ve been soaring high enough for sometimes now, and it’s time to land back to reality. It’s time to come back to Earth, and rest.

Prisma Visions

My Neck, My Back… Oh no, it cracks!

January finally said goodbye after a year (jk), phew, wasn’t it a long month? I realized that I’ve been taking a lot of sweet time and rest in January. Closed of 2019 with chaos and stressful, and entering the year with much needed break.

But February arrived at my door. And then I asked myself. Was I really taking a break, or I was lying to myself? I probably lied to myself thousands of time in my whole lifetimes, that’s a just a Sagittarius thing. But my deck won’t lie.

I asked my Prisma Vision deck about my physical health.

Ace of Wands is my current state of physical health.

I wonder if the Fire element starter really want to tell me that I’m in a cocoon and I’ve been hibernating for sometime. Now is the time to wake up and show up for my opportunities, my abundance pool, and just dive and soak myself in there. Because I am ready.

Four of Wands promises me that if I stick with my routine of being a morning person, everything will be better. Longer daytime work, more structured thought process, cutting off unhealthy habits. Four of Wands is all about that stability and I imagined that we all wanna settle down and have enough rest at the end of the day, regardless of how hard we been hustling during the day.

I have enough Strength to continue working and moving on to the next page of my life, because I promised myself that this life is too short to not try everything. Strength card arrived in this reading so that I will finally forgive myself for slacking of my routine, and not beat myself too hard, when I failed. I am in control of myself.

Wheel of Fortune. Change change change. A recurring theme asking me if I want to change my habits and practices. I understand that change is needed, and change has arrived. I will serve my function as my body serve their function to me.

The Magician. I don’t see myself as the Magician, so I am humbled to be mirrored as such. I know I’ve repaired my shoes for months and didn’t even pick them up for a run. Thank you for roasting me, deck, I will make time for the run!

Nine of Cups is all about choices that I make for myself. At the end of the day, it’s me who decides my well being, whether I want to continue hiding in my own shadow, or if I want to be out there, stronger than what I am yesterday. Because hey, sometimes darkness promises light in its own shade, does it?

New Moon Spread Prisma Visions

New Moon in Aquarius: The Test of Power

A lot of us doesn’t talk about power dynamics much. When it comes to activists *sacred* spaces, it is almost impossible to address this, especially when there are lack of check and balance. This New Moon in Aquarius, I celebrate the richness of power that is given to me, by inheritance, by the Universe, by the collectives.


When this deck arrived to me this morning, it gives me a hint of dark and overwhelming power coming with it. It serves as a reminder of what truly matters: re-delegating powers to people around me. And The Chariot reminded me that I was born powerful, no matter how powerless I was when I grew up.

Born under the Sagittarius sun and Libra moon, my personality has a build up conflict: to be honest or to avoid fights. When Five of Swords arrived at this reading, I knew that I am permitted to speak my truth wherever I feel I should. I know there are more than just truth to be talked about, a lot of kickbacks will also come together to solve this. But I am ready to beat this airy Aquarius.

Empowerment can be challenging. Empowerment doesn’t arrive at your door. Empowerment need to be learned. But empowerment has come for me in the form of collective: Three of Chalices. I know, Universe. All that I need is my collective to empower me.

The Moon reminds me and us that there are more than just what we put at the outside, when it comes to talent. The Moon is me yearning to go for another journey. And I have yet to surrender.

Page of Chalices want me to pour a cup of talent, ability and capability to people around me. Page of Chalices reminds me that I cannot pour from an empty cup. I need to enrich my talent, in order to serve my community. And I shall have that.

The Emperor. Sigh. My personal freedom has a lot to do with patriarchal shackles that kept me from doing a lot of thing. I know when The Emperor arrives, I need to remind myself that this power will continue to be here if I let them.

New Moon in Aquarius, I welcome you and the promise of releasing and reclaiming my power.

Tarot of Cloisters

Healing from People of Past Lives

It’s Aquarius season, sure. But what I am looking in the retrospective now is my past and people who are in my life, sending weird messages to be about karmic revelation. And it goes like this:

I get it. When you are the black sheep of the family, it’s hard to understand the concept of fairness, justice, and being treated as an equal. And honestly, I would rather just walk away and leave a family that didn’t appreciate my existence. Hence Justice and Six of Swords talks to me the most, when it comes to ancestral trauma.

The Emperor and The Magician sits next to each other, as I find it hard to talk and solve the problems of my family. From a broken piece of shit, no one actually want to listen to you. And that is fine. We should start to move on and be creative of our solutions.

Three of Pentacles wants me to stay intact with my family, through bonds that can be helped. Staying in contact with my mother and brother is the most thing that I am doing right now, and that is fine with me. They are the one that mattered the most to me.

And Eight of Vessels is about leaving. Though those relationships has been a crucial part of my life, it’s time to move on and cut ties. There is no point to live and stay in relationships where you are not appreciated. Be where you are loved.

And with path to heal myself, I welcome, Aquarius season.

Everyday Tarot

Creating Creative Creations

Life is weird. It sends us talents and abilities while we struggled with so many things. It could be a blessing, it could be a curse.

What I love about abilities it is build-able. The more that you explore, the more that you are blessed with those abilities. And what could be the best out of this? To be able to inspire more people, to share good messages, to make the world a better place.

This would be my favourite spread of all time, and it is called Creating with The Empress.


I went through the deck to look for the Empress and put it forward upon me and asked, where is the direction of my projects and creativity is heading to. All five cards flew to me and answered my question.

I am well nestled. In Four of Wands, the foundation of abilities that we constant spoke of, is enough. It is celebrated and acknowledged by  many, and I’m sitting on my throne like an Empress. I’m on top of my talent. With Seven of Pentacles, I’m every ready to harvest seeds that I’ve planted. I know I’m impatient sometimes, when it comes to abundance, but it shall arrive.

And it arrives. Knight of Pentacles is here to bring good news, and good news only. It brings abundance and light, but with condition. To be the Hanged Man. To release the worry or fear that holds me back.

Four of Pentacles, thank you for reminding me that those abilities and capabilities are more than just what I have, it is me. It is inherited, and shall be the gift of my ancestors and blood forever. I honor all gifts given, and I will honor them till the last breath.

Everyday Tarot

Show Me The Abundance

Living the life as a freelancer sucks. Let’s face the reality. You will not be paid on time. There are no gigs at certain month. And this month is definitely it. I’m feeling exhausted from the constant anxiety to feed off myself and the collectives, and to be able to support all my friends in their work, too.

But that what currency and money makes us. They wants us to become their slave. To have a constant addiction of money is… fascinating yet it exists. And we all have it.

Being an anarchist who looks at those currency as an exchange to get other resources, I feel tempted to ask my deck, to show me abundance, if in any form, they existed and coming for me.

I think my deck must’ve been crazy but here we are to answer the real abundance: LOVE. Everything is already coming to my way but I am worrying way too much about them. The Lovers’ advice? Take a chill pill. You are loved and supported enough to be protected. I know my friends loved me. I know the Universe loved me. I know.

Ten of Cups follows, as to affirm the love the Universe had for me. It’s abundance, like the planet Jupiter, for me, to be born in Sagittarius. I’m accelerating enough with Knight of Swords, and I’m leaving the world of material with Eight of Cups. Together we shall meet at the end, Death.

I think this is a very soothing thoughts my deck had for me, thank you so much for ever listening and giving me enough affirmations in those bad days. I feel like I will never have enough of money but here we are to be reminded: that true form of currency is LOVE and SOLIDARITY. It is buried deep inside us, don’t ignore it.

Everyday Tarot Full Moon Spread

The Cosmic Shift: Full Moon in Cancer, Lunar Eclipse and Seeking Balance

In December, as the moon enters Capricorn, a Total Solar Eclipse came through and I’ve been feeling extremely sick and tired most of the time. As soon as it leaves, I started getting my period again and it was a painful four days. But all pain come and leave, do they?

I decided to prepare myself (or more like, reflected myself) before Penumbral Lunar Eclipse, as the Full Moon in Cancer arrives.

And here is my spread:

I’ve finally gained the trust from this deck again, after being strucked with juggling a lot of decks at the same time.

The first card, The Hierophant. Reminding me these days I’ve been equipping myself with new skills and abilities, as I’ve grown older and wiser. I’ve been feeling stagnant with my current set of skills, so I’m looking forward for this shift to bring me new challenges and job opportunities where I can learn new things!

The second card, Five of Wands. I’m torn in between a lot of dramatic communities, and how they shaped me. Knowing that I have past experiences of being abused in workplace, I’ve been staying away from being close to people that can hurt me. I’m no longer allowing these energies to hurt me. Five of Wands, I’m looking for collaboration. I know people will always find way to hurt me, but I’m not gonna let them do that to me.

The third card, Two of Pentacles. I know, Full Moon in Cancer and the Capricorn season wanting me to keep those bag of coins and be more wary of my spending. I know, that savings are actually hard, when you actually earn day by day. This is more than just spending issues, this is about seeking and giving balance again to my bank account. But what is the value of money, when I cannot make ways for living?

The fourth card, The Hanged Man. Again I asked, what is hoarding? Why would I be hoarding money, knowing that they are not forever with me? I will fall into financial turmoil again, and this continues on forever. Because the currency of living is based on capitalism, not the will of living. And what is living, when you are dying, everyday? I’m letting go my worries of not earning so much. I shall continue to earn day by day, if that’s the only path available.

The fifth card, Ten of Wands. I see that you mean, I carry so much burden inside me. This cosmic shift is taking me into more challenges and that’s going to hurt me as I hoard emotions inside me, that I might carry from others. I shall learn to take it one step at a time.

I understand your message, Universe. I shall take my rest now.

Everyday Tarot

New Year, New Me

The most cliche goal of the year, I know.

But what I didn’t know is the Universe telling me to rip off the old shell and skin of mine, the bad energy that I hoarded in previous years, the trauma that I don’t tell to people because of those painful experiences.

I’ve been in the state of exhaustion for the longest time ever since last year. It’s about time to start fresh again, but I am wondering where the time arrives for me? The time has always been now.

In 2020, I’m setting the goal to love myself.

The first card that arrived this new year to me is Ace of Cups, reversed.

The Ace of Cups reminds us the value of love, self-worth, and self-care. The chalice, which is overflowed with the water – is the love that we contain inside us. And then I met this quote in a book I was reading, Women who Runs with Wolves:

I’m reminded of how we hoard so much feelings inside us, our small body, knowing that we couldn’t take it. Knowing that there much thing to do. Knowing that the Universe promises to ease our burden, if we let those bad energy go.

And to let go of what holds us back.

I welcome the New Year to New Me.

What about you?

Mystic Monday New Moon Spread

New Moon in Capricorn: Dreaming of My Dreams

I took a deep breath as we enter the New Moon in eclipse, and I’ve been in a lot of pain lately. I’m not sure what the pain is all about, and how my physical ability is constantly being affected by it. All I remember is sleeping a lot and agreeing to a lot of rest and care I did for myself. But I took in a lot of energy from people around me, from the reading I’ve been offering to people, and their spirit sort of… latch into me? Whatever it is, I’m learning to let go.

I picked up my deck for New Moon in Capricorn, to do spread by Biddy Tarot.

What can I do to live in integrity?

Hello there, Eight of Swords! I think I foresee this coming to us a long way.

“Needing permission from some- one else other than yourself is giving away your power. Take back what is yours! The only permission you need is from yourself. “

Limitation is, like, come on. I’m not here for this. I was going through a fiery Sagittarius season, and Capricorn will not let me breathe. I am ready to pick up a lot from this season, and I’m not worried about limitation. I’m wary of self-expression and acquiring recognition, because that’s what Capricorns are living for.


How can I incorporate healthy solitude into my routines?

Pentacles are the Earth signs card, and I’m excited when it appeared.

Incremental progress is satisfactory since you know that this is proof that your strategy is working. There is no stopping the Knight of Pentacles—he knows what he wants and will not stop in getting it!

I think we all took quiet times and alone times for granted and Earth sign seasons are usually the time of the year when everything is very quiet and magically slow. But they are cunning times. Those who work in silence usually strive the best and their wins? Wild. I’m ready for a wild Capricorn ride!

What blessings will I receive when I approve of myself?

Oh, wow. Wheel of Fortune.

Everything happens for a reason, so have faith that these changes are happening for your highest good. Life is full of cycles, and it’s impossible to have the good times without the bad times.

Just as I am ready for a shift, for a major change, for I don’t know what’s forthcoming in the month, I am ready to go through this change. I’m adapting to it. I am IT.


How is my reputation serving me?

A long-term goal has been reached, and you can now sit back and relax. All of the pieces have come together, and you have finally found your place in the world. Celebrate— this is a huge win!

The World find itself in my deck to tell me that we all have come to a long road in this year. It’s time to sit back and enjoy the end of the year. I’m feeling it. I’m feeling the holiday vibe. But I am also wanting to do a little bit more, this month. Can my fire energy shut down already? I don’t know!


How will my actions benefit from self-control?

The say Nine of Cups is the wish card in the deck, symbolizes dreaming coming true for me. Pretty sure January is a long month to go, and the Capricorn season promises abundance. I am taking this advice for myself.

Your heart’s desires have been attended to, reaching deep emotional satisfaction and fulfillment. Count your blessings and all the good things that life has to offer by living to the fullest.

What is my highest intention for my personal power?

Princess of Pentacles. Dream. More dream to be achieve. I’m dreaming big. Well, there’s no stopping here I guess.

By re-framing work as play, you allow yourself to approach learning as a new adventure. Move forward with reason and practicality, and set your sights forward to expand. Realize your potential by allowing yourself to grow.

I am feeling the vibe of Capricorn season is being passive aggressive to me; is to rest or to work? I’m looking inwards for cosmic shift spread, of which I will share soon (as my thoughts drown in it).

Everyday Tarot Work Your Light

In Challenging Times

Yesterday I spent a good time as a panel, speaking on mental health, stereotypes and labels. Three years ago, I would never find myself able to speak on mental illness and how it takes toll on me, but here I am, sharing my stories. I don’t want people to feel that they are ever alone.

While waiting for the session, I picked up my deck and worked on a challenging times spread.

What lesson did yesterday bring?

The Empress answered that everything is under control. That the power to continue to step up and keep on fighting lies inside you. That you are always guided. A lot of us are scared of things that haven’t happened yet, simply because there are a big possibilities waiting for us and we are not ready to face it. We are in denial of what is going to happen, and that stresses us out. But life is a wild ride. It will always be a big turn, and that’s the scariest part. But how do we know if we didn’t want to face it?

How can I best integrate those lesson?

The Moon asked us to believe that there’s always light in darkness. There is always hope, and there is always chance to change things even after they happens. The power lies within us. The power belongs to us. Every decision that we make, every step that we take, it happens for a reason, and those reasons are why we keep on marching. We continue living because we deserve the life we make.

What lesson will today bring?

Page of Pentacles reinforces to believe in yourself. Believe that you are the agent of change. Believe that you can change the world you live. I know this is hard to do, it even seems comical and aspirational, but real changes happen when you take that leap. When you decide that it is time to believe.

How can I find joy as I move through the lessons?

Knight of Swords is all about taking charge. Be in charge of your own bullshit. Be in charge of your own future. Be in charge, get organized, be in control. You shall feel much better because you know, you are responsible for your own self.


The Priestess is sending message on how do I step up and lead. But why am I stepping up and who am I leading, is no question. It’s myself. I’m doing this for me. I’m not doing this for other people. I’m not a people pleaser.

Welcome to the stone-cold-hearted season, Capricorn.